Embracing Self-Love: How Confidence And Self-Esteem Impact Sexual Health

8 August 2024

In a nutshell self-esteem is how much you value yourself, while confidence is the feeling of belief in one’s self pertaining to who you are and your abilities.

In the realm of sexual health we define sexual self-esteem as your confidence in your ability to have fulfilling sexual experiences. It can change over time, depending on your age, your partner’s skills or interest, and can vary between men and women and across different cultures. This self-esteem influences almost all your sexual decisions, such as who you choose to be with, when you have sex, and how freely you express yourself.

Sexual confidence, according to Dr. Chris Fox, a senior lecturer in sexology at the University of Sydney, is the ability to actively listen to your partner’s needs.

Confidence and self-esteem are closely linked in shaping how an individual embraces self-love. When a man develops strong sexual confidence and self-esteem, he can achieve a proactive sexual health that satisfies both himself and his partner.

What Good Sexual Confidence & Self Esteem Looks Like

Achieving and fully embracing self-love is a journey of acceptance and patience. Once a person fully attains and establishes this within themselves, their internal and external perspectives change. These qualities empower open communication, boundary-setting, and fulfilling sexual experiences, enhancing both individual well-being and societal respect.

“I Believe I Deserve this Pleasure.”

A good sexual self-esteem starts with believing you deserve pleasure.

“I Openly Understand & Communicate My Sexual Desires.”

Understanding and expressing your desires are key to sexual confidence and self-esteem.

“I Understand & Listen To My Partner.”

Actively listening to and comprehending a partner’s needs also demonstrates sexual confidence.

“I Set, Respect & Accept Each Other Boundaries.”

Setting boundaries is essential for healthy sexual relationships.

5 Tips For Improving Sexual Confidence & Self Esteem

Learn to openly communicate your desires with your sexual partner. Be direct, check in frequently, and use body language to ensure you both are always aligned.
Discover what excites you by exploring various sources and paying attention to your body’s reactions.
Transition from performative sex to pleasurable experiences by practicing mindfulness, observing your shifting thoughts, and consistently bringing your focus back to the present moment.
Approach your body and sexual experiences with curiosity. Embrace a non-judgmental mindset that allows you to fully enjoy and feel confident in diverse experiences, leading to satisfaction.
Acknowledge the influence of culture. In today’s society, particularly with the prevalence of social media, we are taught a specific idea of what is considered attractive or sexy. Cultural norms and societal stigmas also contribute to internalizing biases such as fatphobia, colorism, ableism, and ageism. These messages shape our perceptions of our bodies, impacting how we view ourselves as sexual beings and our entitlement to pleasure and sexual experiences. It is important to remind ourselves that it’s okay to be different and unique.

In conclusion, confidence and self-esteem are journeys of self-discovery, acceptance, and patience. Each step forward requires us to embrace every version of our evolving selves. It is up to each individual to define confidence and understand how it shapes their self-esteem.

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